Bravery: Redefining Courage and Personal Growth
Reflecting on bravery and its evolution
When you think of being brave, what comes to mind? Is it being bold and daring? Or speaking your mind and standing up for others or yourself? During my own evolution as of late and spending time in social solitude, I had the chance to learn what has shifted for me and my view on bravery.
Defining Bravery: A Personal Journey
Where did I get my definition of being brave?
Growing up and feeling defenseless in toxic, abusive relationships, I didn't realize the redefinition of what bravery would mean to me at the end of that era. I set in stone the firmness, setting boundaries, and not letting anyone who showed a shred of aggression or manipulation get the best of me.
Breaking the Cycle: Elevating Bravery
I thought this was the one cure-all for everything.
But this proved to me too much whenever I faced a challenge from men who resembled patterns of my past. Even though I didn't raise my voice most times, if they trembled my way- they were in for trouble. There was this survival rule that I made up and stuck to - until I realized I didn't want to deal with this path anymore. Instead, I tried to claim my untapped peace.
The Complexity of Speaking Up
I learned that one engagement of negativity could spiral out of control and grow into something that can fester - beyond your momentary frustrations. You could be the type that gets over it, but the other person might not, and then it's rounds 2, 3, and 4 until forever. So how do you break the cycle? You elevate being brave.
When I would stand up for myself, it would rarely be cut and dry. The other person would have their say, other people would get involved, and it would turn into a mess in some form that wasted time. It's not to say this happens quite often, but if something needed to be addressed, that was it. Things changed when I realized I was losing untapped happiness.
When I get upset or speak on behalf of my trauma to someone else, only someone who has survived the same past traumas can understand how difficult that can be. You don't see an argument or someone taking advantage of you in the same way as someone who has not had shared experiences. Fighting the trauma that you see through their aggression then becomes your bullseye.
What Bravery Truly Entails
I wanted more joy.
It's one thing to know better, but it's another thing when you are a work in progress trying to match your actions with your mind. Just because you missed the ball doesn’t mean you haven't tried; it takes time to break habits and patterns, which I possessed and struggled to let go of.
Unwavering Kindness: A Pillar of Bravery
What I learned about being brave once I had a better handle on it.
Being brave is not about being necessarily bold in the tone of your voice but in the steps that you take in life and the ones you refuse. It's about the boundaries you set and commit to, which no one can cross. It's about reserving your tongue and thoughts and not being quick to react or get lost in overthinking - instead, you give yourself time to listen first and act later. It's about allowing maturity to materialize instead of giving in to your immediate desires and habits.
Being brave is about being kind and loving to yourself and others despite being passed over, wronged, or things that didn't go your way; it's about taking the wins and losses, seeing them as lessons, and pushing forward. To be brave is, to be honest, aware, soft-spoken, and unwavering in your spirit. It does not feed your ego - it fuels your soul.
The Multitude of Bravery
To be brave is to take steps forward despite feeling uncertain inside. It's not about transferring your emotional bags onto others, lashing out and deflecting, or simply using buzzwords to take ownership of missteps. It's about learning, relearning, and committing to doing better. Being brave is about being loving to yourself even if you are not happy with your progress in life - you root for yourself anyway. Being brave is about being steady, kind, and open-minded, despite what is happening.
Embrace Personal Growth with Grace
While it might sound ideal to some, it is doable and doesn't mean that you are not brave if you don't do everything listed or in order. Give yourself grace, time, and room to grow, is the bravest gift of all.
Conclusion
If you are struggling to break out of outdated patterns and thoughts, know that it is possible. I am sharing with you a prompt journal that I designed specifically to help pinpoint and navigate the challenges and give easy methods that are doable and offer impressive results. It's called "30 Days to a New You”. "The ABCs of Fasting and Finding Your True Self" is a self-help journal designed to help readers achieve personal growth and self-discovery through the power of fasting and journaling. Available anywhere, books are sold and will save you years of going around in circles and dead-end relationships.
The only way we get to where we want to be is by having the courage to create and claim it.
